Monday, March 2, 2009
crappy nineties adventure games
In the late eighties games were nice and simple - you basically got a joystick with two buttons. No matter what you were playing your options were basically "jump" or "shoot." Then the computer was invented and some bright programmer thought to himself, "wouldn't it be SO COOL if there was a game where kids could direct their character to do ANYTHING!"
That programmer was way too stupid to invent something like that and instead created a crude approximation. A player would be prompted to type various "commands" to their character who would helpfully reply "I don't know what "command" means." The player would then swear and try every possible syntax of the command until he stumbled upon one that the game actually recognized.
Example:
User: "get key"
Hugo: "I don't know what 'get key' is"
user: "grab key"
Hugo: "I don't know what 'grab key' is"
user:"obtain key"
Hugo: Hugo obtains key
There would basically be a lot of weird puzzle crap, and you'd have to fill your inventory with a lot of totally useless stuff that true people would never carry around but would inevitably become critical in the game until you won!
IT WAS AWESOME!!!
A month or two ago I stumbled upon MSPaint Adventures, an online comic where the readers suggested commands for the hero to perform. It brought back so many memories of crappy mid nineties adventure games that I fell in love. I then decided it would be fun to try the game out with my friends. So here we are!
To participate simply view the comic, decide what action the hero should take, then write it in a post. I'll go over the various submitted responses and pick one - and along we go!
That programmer was way too stupid to invent something like that and instead created a crude approximation. A player would be prompted to type various "commands" to their character who would helpfully reply "I don't know what "command" means." The player would then swear and try every possible syntax of the command until he stumbled upon one that the game actually recognized.
Example:
User: "get key"
Hugo: "I don't know what 'get key' is"
user: "grab key"
Hugo: "I don't know what 'grab key' is"
user:"obtain key"
Hugo: Hugo obtains key
There would basically be a lot of weird puzzle crap, and you'd have to fill your inventory with a lot of totally useless stuff that true people would never carry around but would inevitably become critical in the game until you won!
IT WAS AWESOME!!!
A month or two ago I stumbled upon MSPaint Adventures, an online comic where the readers suggested commands for the hero to perform. It brought back so many memories of crappy mid nineties adventure games that I fell in love. I then decided it would be fun to try the game out with my friends. So here we are!
To participate simply view the comic, decide what action the hero should take, then write it in a post. I'll go over the various submitted responses and pick one - and along we go!
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